The Emotionally Intelligent Child: Helping Kids Cope with Feelings, Build Resilience, and Develop Essential Life Skills 2020

Summary:

• The Emotionally Intelligent Child: Helping Kids Cope with Feelings, Build Resilience, and Develop Essential Life Skills by Gina M. Biegel is a comprehensive guide to helping children develop emotional intelligence. The book provides parents and caregivers with the tools they need to help their children understand and manage their emotions in healthy ways. It also offers strategies for building resilience so that kids can cope better with life’s challenges.

  Biegel begins by discussing the importance of emotional intelligence (EI) in childhood development. She explains how EI helps kids learn to recognize, express, and regulate their feelings in appropriate ways. She then outlines the five core components of EI—self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, social skills, and motivation—and provides practical tips on how parents can foster these qualities in their children.

  Next she discusses common issues that arise during childhood such as anxiety or depression and suggests techniques for addressing them effectively. She emphasizes the importance of creating an emotionally safe environment where kids feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or criticism from adults.

  Finally she explores topics such as bullying prevention; developing positive relationships; teaching problem solving skills; cultivating gratitude; managing stress; setting goals; dealing with failure; fostering creativity; encouraging physical activity; promoting healthy eating habits; establishing good sleep routines; using technology responsibly ;and more.

  Overall this book is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to help young people build strong emotional foundations that will serve them throughout life. With its clear explanations and helpful advice it is sure to be a valuable addition to any parent’s library.

Main ideas:

• #1.     Understand Your Child’s Emotions: Parents should strive to understand their child’s emotions and how they affect their behavior. This will help parents to better respond to their child’s needs and create a more supportive environment.
  
  

  Understanding your child’s emotions is essential for creating a supportive environment. When parents take the time to understand their child’s feelings, they can better respond to their needs and help them develop healthy coping skills. Parents should strive to recognize when their child is feeling overwhelmed or anxious, as well as when they are feeling happy and content. This will allow parents to provide appropriate support in each situation.

  Parents should also be aware of how their own emotions may affect their interactions with their children. If a parent is feeling stressed or angry, it can be difficult for them to remain calm and understanding towards their child. Taking some time out for self-care before engaging with your child can help you stay present and focused on providing emotional support.

  Finally, it’s important that parents create an open dialogue about emotions with their children. Encouraging kids to talk about how they feel helps them learn how to express themselves in healthy ways and build resilience over time.

• #2.     Teach Emotional Regulation: Teaching children how to regulate their emotions is essential for their development. Parents should provide guidance and support to help their children learn how to manage their emotions in a healthy way.
  
  

  Teaching children how to regulate their emotions is an important part of helping them develop into emotionally healthy adults. Parents can help their children learn emotional regulation skills by providing guidance and support in a variety of ways. For example, parents can model appropriate behavior for their children, such as taking deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed or talking through difficult feelings with someone else. They can also provide opportunities for their child to practice self-soothing techniques like counting to ten or using positive affirmations. Additionally, parents should be open and honest about discussing emotions with their child so that they understand the importance of managing them.

  Parents should also create a safe environment where it’s okay for kids to express themselves without fear of judgement or criticism. This will allow them to feel comfortable expressing any emotion they may have without worrying about being judged or shamed for it. Finally, parents should encourage problem solving skills in order to help kids find constructive solutions when faced with challenging situations.

  By teaching emotional regulation skills early on, parents are giving their children the tools they need to become emotionally intelligent adults who are better equipped at handling life’s challenges.

• #3.     Develop Self-Awareness: Self-awareness is an important skill for children to develop. Parents should help their children to recognize their emotions and understand how they affect their behavior.
  
  

  Developing self-awareness is an important part of growing up. It helps children to recognize their emotions and understand how they affect their behavior. Parents can help their children develop this skill by encouraging them to talk about their feelings, teaching them how to identify different emotions, and helping them learn strategies for managing difficult emotions.

  Parents should also provide a safe environment where children can express themselves without fear of judgement or criticism. This will allow kids to explore the range of emotions they experience in a healthy way. Additionally, parents should model positive emotional regulation skills so that kids can learn from example.

  Finally, it’s important for parents to be patient with their child as they work on developing self-awareness. Kids need time and practice in order to become more aware of themselves and better able to manage their own feelings.

• #4.     Foster Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is an important part of emotional intelligence. Parents should help their children to be kind to themselves and understand that mistakes are part of learning.
  
  

  Foster self-compassion in your children by teaching them to be kind and understanding towards themselves. Remind them that mistakes are part of the learning process, and that it is okay to make mistakes as long as they learn from them. Encourage your children to talk about their feelings openly, without judgement or criticism. Help them understand that everyone makes mistakes and has bad days, but it’s important to take responsibility for our actions and move forward with a positive attitude.

  Teach your children how to practice self-care when they feel overwhelmed or stressed out. Show them how taking time for themselves can help reduce stress levels and improve overall wellbeing. Modeling healthy coping strategies such as deep breathing exercises, journaling, or going for a walk can also help foster self-compassion in your child.

  Finally, remind your child that no one is perfect – not even you! Letting go of perfectionism will allow both you and your child to accept imperfections more easily while still striving for excellence.

• #5.     Encourage Positive Thinking: Positive thinking is an important skill for children to learn. Parents should help their children to recognize and focus on the positive aspects of life and to develop a more optimistic outlook.
  
  

  Encouraging positive thinking in children is an important part of helping them develop into emotionally intelligent individuals. Parents can help their children to recognize and focus on the positive aspects of life, rather than dwelling on the negative. This will help them to develop a more optimistic outlook and be better equipped to handle difficult situations. Positive thinking also helps children build resilience, as they learn how to cope with setbacks without becoming overwhelmed or discouraged.

  Parents should model positive thinking for their children by focusing on solutions instead of problems, looking at challenges as opportunities for growth, and being mindful of what they say about themselves and others. They should also encourage their kids to practice gratitude by expressing appreciation for all that they have in life. Finally, parents can provide support when things don’t go according to plan by reminding their kids that mistakes are part of learning and growing.

• #6.     Promote Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is an important skill for children to learn. Parents should help their children to identify and address problems in a constructive way.
  
  

  Promoting problem-solving in children is an important part of helping them develop essential life skills. Parents should encourage their children to think critically and come up with creative solutions to the problems they face. This can be done by teaching them how to break down a problem into smaller, more manageable parts, brainstorm potential solutions, evaluate each solution for its effectiveness and consequences, and then choose the best option. Additionally, parents should provide guidance on how to handle difficult emotions that may arise when facing a challenge or obstacle. By providing support and understanding during these times, children will learn how to manage their feelings in order to make sound decisions.

  Parents can also model problem-solving behavior for their children by demonstrating effective strategies when faced with challenges themselves. For example, if there is an issue at work that needs resolving, parents could explain the steps they are taking in order to address it. This will help show kids that even adults have difficulty solving problems sometimes but still find ways of overcoming them.

  Finally, it’s important for parents not only teach their kids about problem-solving but also give them opportunities to practice it as well. Through trial and error experiences such as role playing scenarios or working through puzzles together; kids can gain confidence in their ability solve issues independently.

• #7.     Develop Coping Skills: Coping skills are essential for children to learn. Parents should help their children to develop strategies for dealing with difficult emotions and situations.
  
  

  Developing coping skills is an important part of helping children to become emotionally intelligent. Coping skills are strategies that help children manage their emotions and deal with difficult situations. Parents can help their children develop these skills by teaching them how to recognize and express their feelings, problem-solve, set goals, practice self-care, and build resilience.

  When teaching coping skills to children it is important for parents to be patient and understanding. It may take time for a child to learn new strategies or feel comfortable using them in different situations. Parents should also model the use of healthy coping strategies themselves so that their child can see what they look like in action.

  Parents should also provide support when a child is struggling with difficult emotions or challenging circumstances. This could include providing comfort through physical affection such as hugs or simply being present while the child works through his/her feelings. Additionally, parents should encourage positive thinking by reminding the child of his/her strengths and successes.

• #8.     Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is an important skill for children to learn. Parents should help their children to be aware of their thoughts and feelings and to practice being present in the moment.
  
  

  Practicing mindfulness is an important skill for children to learn. It helps them become aware of their thoughts and feelings, as well as the present moment. Parents can help their children develop this skill by teaching them how to observe their own emotions without judgment or criticism. This includes recognizing when they are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, and then taking a few moments to pause and focus on calming activities such as deep breathing or counting slowly from one to ten.

  Mindfulness also involves being mindful of others’ feelings and perspectives. Children should be encouraged to practice empathy by considering how someone else might feel in a given situation, rather than just focusing on themselves. Additionally, parents can model mindful behavior by demonstrating patience with their child during difficult times.

  Finally, it is important that parents provide opportunities for children to practice mindfulness regularly throughout the day. This could include setting aside time each day for meditation or yoga; engaging in outdoor activities like walking in nature; playing games that require concentration; listening to music; reading books together; or simply spending quality time talking about what matters most.

• #9.     Build Resilience: Resilience is an important skill for children to develop. Parents should help their children to recognize their strengths and to develop the skills needed to cope with life’s challenges.
  
  

  Building resilience in children is an important part of helping them to become emotionally intelligent. Resilience is the ability to cope with life’s challenges and bounce back from adversity. It involves recognizing one’s strengths, developing problem-solving skills, and learning how to manage emotions effectively. Parents can help their children build resilience by providing a supportive environment that encourages open communication about feelings and experiences. They should also provide opportunities for their children to practice problem-solving skills through activities such as role playing or brainstorming solutions together.

  Parents should also model resilient behavior themselves so that their children can learn from example. This includes showing empathy towards others, being flexible when faced with change or difficulty, and taking responsibility for mistakes rather than blaming others. Additionally, parents should encourage positive self-talk in their children by praising effort rather than results and teaching them how to reframe negative thoughts into more constructive ones.

  Finally, it is important for parents to be aware of any signs of distress in their child so they can intervene if necessary. If a child appears overwhelmed or unable to cope with a situation on his own then it may be time for the parent step in and offer support or guidance.

• #10.     Foster Self-Esteem: Self-esteem is an important part of emotional intelligence. Parents should help their children to recognize their worth and to develop a positive self-image.
  
  

  Foster self-esteem is an important part of raising emotionally intelligent children. Self-esteem is the belief in one’s own worth and capabilities, and it can have a profound impact on how children view themselves and their place in the world. Parents should strive to help their children recognize their value as individuals, build confidence in their abilities, and develop a positive self-image.

  This can be done through providing unconditional love and support, praising effort rather than results, helping them set realistic goals for themselves that they can achieve with hard work, teaching them problem solving skills so they feel empowered to tackle challenges independently, encouraging open communication about feelings so they learn to express themselves effectively without fear or shame.

  Its also important for parents to model healthy self-esteem by being kind to themselves when mistakes are made. This will show kids that everyone makes mistakes but it doesnt define who we are or our worth as people. By fostering healthy self-esteem from an early age parents can give their children the tools necessary for success both now and into adulthood.

• #11.     Encourage Healthy Relationships: Healthy relationships are essential for children to develop. Parents should help their children to build strong relationships with others and to understand how to interact in a positive way.
  
  

  Encouraging healthy relationships is an important part of parenting. It helps children to develop the skills they need to interact with others in a positive way and build strong, meaningful connections. Parents can help their children by teaching them how to communicate effectively, respect boundaries, and resolve conflicts peacefully. They should also model these behaviors themselves so that their children learn from example.

  Parents should also provide opportunities for their children to practice socializing with other kids in safe environments such as playdates or organized activities like sports teams or clubs. This will give them the chance to make friends and learn how to navigate different types of relationships while still under parental guidance.

  Finally, parents should be open and honest when talking about relationships with their kids. Discussing topics such as consent, respect for others’ feelings, communication styles, and problem-solving strategies can help foster healthy relationship habits early on.

• #12.     Model Emotional Intelligence: Modeling emotional intelligence is an important part of parenting. Parents should strive to demonstrate healthy emotional behaviors and to be a positive role model for their children.
  
  

  Model emotional intelligence is an important part of parenting. Parents should strive to demonstrate healthy emotional behaviors and be a positive role model for their children. This means being aware of your own emotions, understanding how they affect you and others, and responding in appropriate ways. It also involves teaching children the skills needed to recognize, understand, express, regulate, and manage their own emotions.

  Parents can help foster emotional intelligence by providing a safe environment where children feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or criticism. They should also provide guidance on how to handle difficult situations with empathy and compassion rather than aggression or avoidance. Additionally, parents can encourage open communication about feelings so that children learn to identify them accurately.

  It’s important for parents to remember that modeling emotional intelligence isn’t just about setting a good example; it’s also about actively teaching these skills through conversations and activities. For instance, parents can talk with their kids about different types of emotions they experience throughout the day or play games that involve recognizing facial expressions or body language associated with certain feelings.

  By modeling healthy emotional behavior as well as actively teaching these skills through conversation and activities, parents can help foster strong emotional intelligence in their children which will serve them well into adulthood.

• #13.     Create a Supportive Environment: Creating a supportive environment is essential for children’s emotional development. Parents should strive to create an environment that is safe and nurturing for their children.
  
  

  Creating a supportive environment for children is essential for their emotional development. Parents should strive to create an atmosphere that is safe and nurturing, where children feel secure and accepted. This can be done by providing consistent love and support, setting clear boundaries, encouraging open communication between parent and child, modeling positive behavior, teaching problem-solving skills, helping them develop self-esteem through praise and recognition of accomplishments, providing opportunities for creative expression such as art or music classes or sports activities, allowing them to make mistakes without fear of punishment or criticism.

  In addition to creating a supportive home environment parents should also ensure that their child’s school provides the same level of safety and acceptance. Schools should provide resources such as counselors who are trained in dealing with childhood emotions so that students have someone they can talk to if needed. Teachers should also be aware of signs of distress in their students so they can intervene when necessary.

  By creating a supportive environment both at home and at school parents will help foster healthy emotional development in their children which will benefit them throughout life.

• #14.     Encourage Positive Communication: Positive communication is an important skill for children to learn. Parents should help their children to communicate their feelings in a healthy way and to understand how to listen to others.
  
  

  Encouraging positive communication is an important part of helping children develop healthy relationships and emotional intelligence. Parents can help their children learn how to express themselves in a respectful way, listen to others, and understand the feelings of those around them. This can be done through modeling good communication skills, providing opportunities for open dialogue between family members, and teaching problem-solving techniques that allow children to work through conflicts without resorting to negative behavior.

  Parents should also provide guidance on how to handle difficult conversations or emotions such as anger or sadness. Teaching kids strategies like deep breathing or counting backwards from ten can help them stay calm when they are feeling overwhelmed. Additionally, parents should encourage their children to talk about their feelings with trusted adults so they know it’s okay to ask for help if needed.

  By encouraging positive communication in the home environment, parents can give their children the tools they need for successful social interactions throughout life. With practice and support from caring adults, kids will gain confidence in expressing themselves effectively while learning empathy towards others.

• #15.     Develop Empathy: Empathy is an important part of emotional intelligence. Parents should help their children to recognize and understand the feelings of others and to respond in a compassionate way.
  
  

  Developing empathy in children is essential for their emotional intelligence. It helps them to recognize and understand the feelings of others, as well as respond in a compassionate way. Parents can help foster this skill by teaching their children how to identify emotions in themselves and others, talk about feelings openly, practice active listening skills, and show kindness towards those around them. Additionally, parents should model empathy by demonstrating it through their own behavior and interactions with other people.

  Its important that parents provide opportunities for children to practice these skills on a regular basis. This could include role-playing scenarios where they have to put themselves in someone elses shoes or engaging in activities that require cooperation with peers or family members. Through these experiences, kids will learn how to empathize more effectively over time.

  Finally, its important for parents to be patient when helping their child develop empathy since it takes time and effort from both parties involved. With consistent guidance and support from adults who care about them, kids can become more emotionally intelligent individuals who are better equipped at understanding the needs of those around them.

• #16.     Promote Self-Care: Self-care is an important skill for children to learn. Parents should help their children to recognize their needs and to develop healthy habits for taking care of themselves.
  
  

  Promoting self-care in children is essential for their overall wellbeing. Self-care involves recognizing and responding to ones own needs, such as physical health, emotional regulation, and social connection. Parents can help their children learn how to take care of themselves by teaching them healthy habits like getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that bring joy. Additionally, parents should encourage their children to practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or meditation when they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.

  Parents should also model self-care behaviors for their kids so that they can see what it looks like in action. This could include taking time for yourself each day to do something you enjoy or setting boundaries with others so that your needs are respected. By showing your child how important it is to prioritize self-care and make time for yourself each day, you will be helping them develop the skills necessary to take care of themselves throughout life.

• #17.     Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is an important part of emotional intelligence. Parents should help their children to recognize and appreciate the good things in life and to develop an attitude of gratitude.
  
  

  Practicing gratitude is an important part of emotional intelligence. It helps children to recognize and appreciate the good things in life, as well as develop a positive attitude towards life. Parents can help their children cultivate this skill by encouraging them to express thankfulness for what they have, both big and small. This could be done through verbal expressions such as saying “thank you” or writing down a list of things that they are grateful for each day. Additionally, parents should model gratitude themselves so that their children can learn from example.

  Gratitude also has many benefits beyond just developing emotional intelligence; it can lead to increased happiness and improved relationships with others. Studies have shown that people who practice gratitude regularly experience more joy in their lives than those who do not. Furthermore, expressing appreciation for others encourages stronger connections between people which leads to better communication and understanding.

  In conclusion, practicing gratitude is an essential part of emotional intelligence development for children and adults alike. By teaching our kids how to recognize the good things in life and express thankfulness for them, we are helping them build resilience while also improving their overall wellbeing.

• #18.     Encourage Positive Self-Talk: Positive self-talk is an important skill for children to learn. Parents should help their children to recognize and challenge negative thoughts and to replace them with more positive ones.
  
  

  Encouraging positive self-talk is an important part of helping children develop emotional intelligence. Positive self-talk helps children to recognize and challenge negative thoughts, replacing them with more constructive ones. Parents can help their children learn this skill by modeling it themselves and providing guidance when needed. For example, if a child expresses doubt about their ability to do something, parents can encourage them to think positively by saying things like “I know you can do it” or “You have the skills and determination to succeed”.

  Parents should also provide opportunities for their children to practice positive self-talk in everyday situations. This could include encouraging them to talk through difficult tasks before attempting them or reminding them of past successes when they are feeling overwhelmed. Additionally, parents should be sure that any criticism they give is constructive rather than destructive so as not to undermine the childs confidence.

  By teaching children how to use positive self-talk effectively, parents will help foster resilience in their kids and equip them with essential life skills that will serve them well into adulthood.

• #19.     Manage Stress: Stress management is an important skill for children to learn. Parents should help their children to recognize and manage their stress in a healthy way.
  
  

  Stress management is an important skill for children to learn. It can help them cope with difficult emotions, build resilience, and develop essential life skills. Parents should take the time to teach their children how to recognize and manage stress in a healthy way. This could include teaching them relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation; helping them identify activities that reduce stress like listening to music or going for a walk; and encouraging positive self-talk when they are feeling overwhelmed.

  Parents should also model healthy ways of managing stress themselves so that their children can see what it looks like in action. For example, if parents take regular breaks throughout the day or practice mindfulness exercises, this will show their kids that it’s okay to pause and take care of yourself during times of high stress. Additionally, parents should provide emotional support by validating their child’s feelings and offering comfort when needed.

  By teaching children effective strategies for managing stress early on, they will be better equipped to handle challenging situations later in life. With guidance from caring adults who understand the importance of these skills, kids can learn how to effectively manage stressful moments without becoming overwhelmed.

• #20.     Develop Life Skills: Life skills are essential for children to learn. Parents should help their children to develop the skills needed to navigate life’s challenges and to become independent and successful adults.
  
  

  Life skills are essential for children to learn in order to become successful adults. Parents should help their children develop the necessary skills needed to navigate life’s challenges and build resilience. These skills include problem-solving, communication, decision making, self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation. Teaching these life skills can help children understand how their emotions affect their behavior and how they interact with others. It also helps them develop a sense of responsibility for themselves and those around them.

  Parents can teach these life skills through modeling positive behaviors such as active listening or expressing gratitude. They can also provide opportunities for practice by encouraging open dialogue about feelings or helping kids set goals that will lead to success in school or other activities. Additionally, parents should be aware of any areas where their child may need extra support so they can provide guidance when needed.

  By teaching these important life skills early on, parents are giving their children the tools they need to succeed in adulthood. With this knowledge comes confidence which is key for navigating difficult situations throughout life.