The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive 2019

by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer

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Summary:

  • The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer is a comprehensive guide to cultivating self-compassion. The authors provide readers with the tools they need to develop greater self-awareness, kindness, and resilience in their lives. Through exercises such as mindful meditation, journaling, and visualization techniques, readers learn how to be more compassionate towards themselves while also developing healthier relationships with others.

    The book begins by introducing the concept of self-compassion and its benefits for mental health. It then explains how mindfulness can help us become aware of our thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. This awareness allows us to respond compassionately rather than reactively when faced with difficult emotions or situations. The authors discuss various strategies for practicing self-compassion including lovingkindness meditations that focus on sending ourselves positive messages; gratitude practices that remind us of all we have; savoring moments of joy; connecting with nature; expressing our needs assertively; forgiving ourselves for mistakes; setting boundaries around unhealthy behaviors; learning from failure instead of beating ourselves up over it; being kinder in our inner dialogue; recognizing common humanity through shared experiences with others who are struggling too.

    In addition to providing practical advice on how to cultivate self-compassion in everyday life, the book includes several worksheets designed specifically for this purpose. These worksheets allow readers to track their progress as they practice different skills related to mindful self-compassion such as identifying triggers that lead them away from compassion or noticing patterns in their behavior that could benefit from more kindness towards themselves.

    Overall, The Mindful Self Compassion Workbook provides an accessible introduction into the world of mindful self compassion along with practical tips on how one can start incorporating these principles into daily life right away.


Main ideas:


  • #1.     Self-compassion is an important tool for emotional well-being: Self-compassion is a way of relating to ourselves with kindness and understanding, rather than harshness and criticism. It involves recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion is an important tool for emotional well-being. It involves recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life. Self-compassion helps us to be more accepting of our flaws and mistakes, rather than harshly judging ourselves or feeling ashamed. It also encourages us to take responsibility for our actions without beating ourselves up over them.

    When we practice self-compassion, we are better able to cope with difficult emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, shame and guilt in a healthy way. We can learn how to respond compassionately instead of reacting defensively or aggressively when faced with challenging situations. This allows us to move through difficult times with greater ease and resilience.

    Self-compassion also helps us build healthier relationships with others by allowing us to be more open and honest about our feelings without fear of judgment or criticism from others. When we have a compassionate attitude towards ourselves it becomes easier for us to extend this same kindness towards those around us.

  • #2.     Mindfulness is a key component of self-compassion: Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations in the present moment without judgment. It helps us to be more aware of our inner experience and to respond to it with kindness and understanding.

    Mindfulness is a key component of self-compassion because it helps us to be more aware of our inner experience and to respond to it with kindness and understanding. Mindfulness allows us to observe our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment or criticism. It encourages us to accept ourselves as we are in the present moment, rather than trying to change or suppress our emotions. By being mindful of our own experiences, we can learn how best to care for ourselves in difficult times.

    When practicing mindfulness, we can focus on the breath as an anchor for awareness. We can also practice noticing physical sensations such as tension or relaxation in different parts of the body. This helps us become more aware of what’s happening inside so that we can respond with compassion instead of judgment or criticism. Additionally, by paying attention nonjudgmentally and allowing whatever arises within us—thoughts, feelings, memories—we create space for self-acceptance.

    Mindful self-compassion involves both recognizing negative patterns that may be causing suffering and responding with kindness towards oneself when these patterns arise. Through this process we learn how best to take care of ourselves during challenging times while still accepting all aspects of who we are.

  • #3.     Self-compassion can help us to cope with difficult emotions: Self-compassion can help us to cope with difficult emotions such as shame, guilt, and anxiety. It involves recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to cope with difficult emotions such as shame, guilt, and anxiety. It involves recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life. Self-compassion encourages us to be mindful of our feelings without judgment or criticism. We can learn to accept ourselves for who we are in the present moment rather than trying to change or deny our experience.

    When we practice self-compassion, it helps us become more aware of how we feel about ourselves and what triggers those feelings. This awareness allows us to respond differently when faced with challenging situations instead of reacting out of habit or fear. By being kinder towards ourselves during times of difficulty, we can create a sense of safety within which healing can take place.

    Self-compassion also helps build resilience by providing emotional support during tough times. When we’re able to recognize that everyone experiences suffering at some point in their lives—including ourselves—we’re better equipped to handle whatever comes our way without feeling overwhelmed or defeated.

  • #4.     Self-compassion can help us to build resilience: Self-compassion can help us to build resilience in the face of life’s challenges. It involves recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can be a powerful tool for building resilience in the face of life’s challenges. It involves recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and accepting that imperfection is part of life. Self-compassion helps us to recognize that we are not alone in our struggles; it allows us to accept our mistakes without judgment or criticism, and encourages us to take responsibility for our actions while still being gentle with ourselves. By cultivating self-compassion, we can learn to respond more effectively when faced with difficult situations.

    When we practice self-compassion, we become better able to cope with stressors by developing an attitude of acceptance towards them rather than trying to fight against them. We also become more aware of how our thoughts and feelings influence each other, allowing us to make conscious choices about how best to respond in challenging circumstances. Finally, self-compassion helps us build emotional strength so that even when things don’t go as planned or desired, we have the capacity within ourselves to bounce back from adversity.

  • #5.     Self-compassion can help us to cultivate self-acceptance: Self-compassion can help us to cultivate self-acceptance by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to cultivate self-acceptance by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience suffering, and we are not alone in our struggles. When we practice self-compassion, we remind ourselves that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws – it’s part of being human. This helps us to be more accepting of ourselves.

    In addition, when we practice self-compassion, we offer ourselves kindness and understanding instead of criticism or judgment. We recognize that life is difficult at times and give ourselves permission to make mistakes without feeling guilty or ashamed. This allows us to accept our imperfections with compassion rather than condemnation.

    Finally, practicing self-compassion helps us to recognize that imperfection is part of life. Instead of striving for perfectionism which often leads to feelings of inadequacy or failure, self-compassion encourages us to embrace the reality that none of us are perfect – but this doesn’t mean that we aren’t worthy or valuable as people.

  • #6.     Self-compassion can help us to develop healthier relationships: Self-compassion can help us to develop healthier relationships by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to develop healthier relationships by recognizing our shared humanity. When we are able to recognize that everyone experiences suffering, joy, and imperfection in life, it helps us to be more understanding of ourselves and others. We can learn to accept our own flaws as well as the flaws of those around us without judgment or criticism.

    Offering ourselves kindness and understanding is also an important part of developing healthier relationships. Self-compassion allows us to treat ourselves with gentleness when we make mistakes or experience difficult emotions. This kinder attitude towards ourselves can then extend outwards into our interactions with others, allowing for more meaningful connections.

    Finally, self-compassion teaches us that imperfection is part of life. By accepting this fact rather than striving for perfection all the time, we can create a space where mistakes are seen not as failures but simply as opportunities for growth and learning. This acceptance creates a safe environment where healthy relationships can flourish.

  • #7.     Self-compassion can help us to become more compassionate towards others: Self-compassion can help us to become more compassionate towards others by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more compassionate towards others by recognizing our shared humanity. When we practice self-compassion, we recognize that all humans experience suffering and imperfection in life. We understand that everyone has their own struggles and challenges, and this understanding helps us to be more compassionate towards others.

    Practicing self-compassion also involves offering ourselves kindness and understanding when things dont go as planned or when we make mistakes. This attitude of kindness towards ourselves can extend outwards to those around us, helping us to be more forgiving and understanding of the flaws of others.

    Finally, practicing self-compassion helps us to accept our imperfections without judgement or criticism. By accepting our own shortcomings, it becomes easier for us to accept the imperfections of those around us too.

  • #8.     Self-compassion can help us to become more mindful: Self-compassion can help us to become more mindful by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more mindful by recognizing our shared humanity. When we practice self-compassion, we recognize that all humans experience suffering and imperfection in life. This understanding helps us to be more compassionate towards ourselves when things don’t go as planned or when we make mistakes. It also encourages us to take a step back and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment.

    Offering ourselves kindness and understanding is another way that self-compassion can help us become more mindful. We often criticize ourselves harshly for not meeting our own expectations, but this only serves to increase our stress levels and distracts from the present moment. Practicing self-compassion allows us to accept ourselves with kindness, which helps reduce stress levels so that we can focus on being mindful of the present moment.

    Finally, recognizing that imperfection is part of life is an important aspect of practicing self-compassion. We often strive for perfectionism in order to feel worthy or accepted, but this only leads to frustration and disappointment when things don’t turn out as expected. Self-compassion teaches us that it’s okay if things don’t always go according to plan; it encourages us to accept our flaws and shortcomings without judgment.

  • #9.     Self-compassion can help us to become more self-aware: Self-compassion can help us to become more self-aware by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more self-aware by recognizing our shared humanity. It encourages us to recognize that we are all imperfect and have flaws, but that this is part of being human. Self-compassion also helps us to be kinder and more understanding towards ourselves when we make mistakes or experience difficult emotions. By offering ourselves kindness and understanding, rather than criticism or judgement, we can learn from our experiences in a healthier way.

    In addition, self-compassion allows us to take an honest look at ourselves without fear of judgement or criticism. We can observe our thoughts and feelings objectively without getting caught up in them emotionally. This gives us the opportunity to gain insight into why certain things trigger certain reactions within us so that we can better understand ourselves.

    By practicing self-compassion regularly, we can become more aware of how our thoughts and behaviors affect others as well as how they impact our own wellbeing. With greater awareness comes the ability to make conscious choices about how best to respond in any given situation.

  • #10.     Self-compassion can help us to become more self-confident: Self-compassion can help us to become more self-confident by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more self-confident by recognizing our shared humanity. We all make mistakes, have flaws, and experience difficult emotions. When we recognize that these experiences are part of being human, it helps us to be kinder and gentler with ourselves when we make mistakes or feel down. This understanding allows us to accept ourselves as imperfect beings who are still worthy of love and respect.

    Offering ourselves kindness and understanding is another way that self-compassion can help build self-confidence. Instead of beating ourselves up for not meeting our expectations or feeling ashamed about a mistake, we can offer words of comfort such as “It’s okay; everyone makes mistakes” or “I forgive myself for this misstep”. These kinds of statements remind us that even though things may not have gone the way we wanted them to, it doesnt mean that theres something wrong with us.

    Finally, recognizing that imperfection is part of life helps boost our confidence in our ability to handle whatever comes our way. Knowing that no one is perfect gives us permission to take risks without fear of failure because even if things dont turn out perfectly every time, it doesnt mean were inadequate or unworthy—it just means life isnt always predictable!

  • #11.     Self-compassion can help us to become more self-compassionate: Self-compassion can help us to become more self-compassionate by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more self-compassionate by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience pain, suffering, and imperfection in life. When we recognize that these experiences are part of the human condition, it helps us to be kinder and more understanding towards ourselves when we make mistakes or feel inadequate. It also allows us to accept our flaws without judgment or criticism.

    Offering ourselves kindness is another way that self-compassion can help us become more compassionate with ourselves. This means speaking kindly to ourselves when we make a mistake or fail at something instead of berating or criticizing ourselves for not being perfect. It also involves treating ourselves with respect and care even when things don’t go as planned.

    Finally, recognizing that imperfection is part of life can help us cultivate greater self-compassion. Instead of striving for perfectionism which often leads to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment, accepting our limitations allows us to move forward with grace and acceptance rather than shame and guilt.

  • #12.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally balanced: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally balanced by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally balanced by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience pain, suffering, and difficult emotions in life. When we recognize that these experiences are part of the human condition, it helps us to be kinder and more understanding towards ourselves when we face them. This allows us to move through difficult times with greater resilience.

    Offering ourselves kindness and understanding is another way self-compassion can help us become more emotionally balanced. Instead of beating ourselves up for mistakes or shortcomings, we can practice self-kindness by speaking kindly to ourselves and offering words of encouragement during challenging times. This helps create a sense of emotional safety which allows us to process our feelings without fear or judgement.

    Finally, recognizing that imperfection is part of life is an important aspect of self-compassion that can help promote emotional balance. By accepting our flaws and limitations as part of being human, we are able to let go of unrealistic expectations about how perfect things should be in order for us to feel good about ourselves.

  • #13.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally resilient: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally resilient by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally resilient by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience pain, suffering, and difficult emotions in life. When we recognize that these experiences are part of the human condition, it helps us to be kinder and gentler with ourselves when we face them. Self-compassion also involves offering ourselves kindness and understanding instead of criticism or judgment when things don’t go as planned or expected. This allows us to accept our imperfections without feeling overwhelmed by them.

    Finally, self-compassion encourages us to recognize that imperfection is part of life. It helps us to understand that mistakes are inevitable and not a reflection on our worthiness as a person. By accepting this reality, we can develop greater emotional resilience in the face of adversity.

  • #14.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally stable: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally stable by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally stable by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience pain, suffering, and difficult emotions in life. When we recognize that these experiences are part of the human condition, it helps us to be kinder and gentler with ourselves when we’re struggling. Instead of beating ourselves up for feeling a certain way or making mistakes, self-compassion allows us to offer ourselves understanding and kindness.

    In addition, self-compassion encourages us to accept imperfection as part of life. It reminds us that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. This acceptance can help reduce feelings of shame or guilt associated with not meeting our own expectations or those imposed on us by others.

    Finally, self-compassion helps build emotional resilience because it teaches us how to cope with difficult emotions in healthy ways instead of avoiding them or trying to suppress them. By allowing ourselves space for these feelings without judgment or criticism, we can learn how best to manage them so they don’t overwhelm us.

  • #15.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally secure: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally secure by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally secure by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience pain, suffering, and difficult emotions in life. When we recognize that these experiences are part of the human condition, it helps us to be kinder and more understanding towards ourselves when we face challenging times.

    Offering ourselves kindness and understanding is another way self-compassion can help us become more emotionally secure. Instead of beating ourselves up for mistakes or shortcomings, we can practice self-kindness by speaking to ourselves with compassion and acceptance. This allows us to move forward from difficult situations without feeling overwhelmed or ashamed.

    Finally, recognizing that imperfection is part of life is an important aspect of self-compassion that helps us become more emotionally secure. We don’t have to strive for perfection; instead, we can accept our flaws as a natural part of being human and learn how to cope with them in healthy ways.

  • #16.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally intelligent: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally intelligent by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally intelligent by recognizing our shared humanity. When we practice self-compassion, we recognize that everyone experiences difficult emotions and struggles in life. This understanding helps us to be more compassionate towards others, as well as ourselves. We can also learn to accept our imperfections and mistakes without judgment or criticism.

    By offering ourselves kindness and understanding, we are better able to manage our own emotions in a healthy way. Self-compassion allows us to take responsibility for our actions while still being gentle with ourselves when things don’t go according to plan. It encourages us to forgive ourselves for past mistakes and move forward with greater emotional resilience.

    Finally, self-compassion teaches us that imperfection is part of life. We all make mistakes from time to time; it’s how we respond that matters most. By practicing self-compassion, we can learn not only how to cope with difficult emotions but also how best to use them as learning opportunities for growth.

  • #17.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally aware: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally aware by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally aware by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience difficult emotions, and it is important to remember that we are not alone in this. When we practice self-compassion, we can offer ourselves kindness and understanding instead of judgment or criticism. This helps us to recognize that imperfection is part of life, and that it’s okay to make mistakes or feel overwhelmed at times.

    By practicing self-compassion, we can learn how to be more mindful of our emotions without getting caught up in them. We can observe our feelings without judging them as good or bad; instead, simply acknowledging their presence allows us to move through them with greater ease. Self-compassion also encourages us to take responsibility for our actions while still being gentle with ourselves when things don’t go as planned.

  • #18.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally flexible: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally flexible by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally flexible by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience difficult emotions, and it is important to remember that we are not alone in this. When we practice self-compassion, we offer ourselves kindness and understanding instead of judgment or criticism. This helps us to be more accepting of our own imperfections and mistakes, which allows us to move forward with greater emotional flexibility.

    When faced with challenging situations or difficult emotions, self-compassion encourages us to take a step back and recognize the bigger picture. Instead of getting stuck in negative thought patterns or ruminating on what went wrong, self-compassion helps us to see the situation from a broader perspective. This allows us to respond with greater emotional agility rather than becoming overwhelmed by our feelings.

    Finally, self-compassion reminds us that life is full of ups and downs; no one is perfect all the time. By embracing this truth about ourselves and others, we can learn how to better manage our emotions when things don’t go as planned. Self-compassion gives us permission to make mistakes without feeling guilty or ashamed – allowing for greater emotional flexibility in any given situation.

  • #19.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally healthy: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally healthy by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally healthy by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience pain, suffering, and difficult emotions in life. When we recognize that these experiences are part of the human condition, it helps us to be kinder and more understanding towards ourselves when we face them. Self-compassion also involves recognizing that imperfection is part of life; no one is perfect and mistakes are inevitable. By accepting this fact with kindness rather than judgment or criticism, we can learn from our mistakes without feeling overwhelmed by shame or guilt.

    Finally, self-compassion encourages us to take care of ourselves in a way that promotes emotional health. This includes engaging in activities such as mindfulness meditation, journaling about our feelings and experiences, connecting with supportive people in our lives, getting enough restful sleep each night, eating nutritious foods regularly throughout the day, exercising regularly for physical health benefits as well as stress relief—all of which contribute to improved mental wellbeing.

  • #20.     Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally mature: Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally mature by recognizing our shared humanity, offering ourselves kindness and understanding, and recognizing that imperfection is part of life.

    Self-compassion can help us to become more emotionally mature by recognizing our shared humanity. We all experience pain, suffering, and difficult emotions in life. When we recognize that these experiences are part of the human condition, it helps us to be kinder and more understanding towards ourselves when we face challenging times. Self-compassion also involves recognizing that imperfection is part of life. We don’t have to strive for perfection or constantly compare ourselves with others; instead, we can accept our flaws and shortcomings as a normal part of being human.

    By practicing self-compassion regularly, we can learn how to respond to difficult situations with kindness rather than criticism or judgment. This allows us to develop emotional resilience so that when faced with adversity or failure, we are better able to cope without becoming overwhelmed by negative emotions such as shame or guilt.

    Ultimately, self-compassion helps us become more emotionally mature because it encourages us to take responsibility for our actions while still offering ourselves compassion and understanding in the process.