The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship 2013

by Chrisanna Northrup

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Summary:

  • The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship is a book by Chrisanna Northrup that explores the secrets of happy couples and how to create a new normal in your relationship. The book is based on a survey of over 100,000 people in relationships from around the world. The survey asked questions about communication, sex, money, and other topics related to relationships. The book then uses the survey results to explore the secrets of happy couples and how to create a new normal in your relationship. The book also includes advice from experts on how to create a healthy and happy relationship.

    The book begins by discussing the importance of communication in relationships. It explains how communication is the foundation of any relationship and how it can help couples to understand each other better. The book then goes on to discuss the importance of sex in relationships and how it can help to strengthen the bond between two people. It also explores the role of money in relationships and how it can be used to create a healthy and happy relationship.

    The book then goes on to discuss the importance of trust in relationships. It explains how trust is essential for any relationship to work and how it can help to create a strong bond between two people. The book also explores the importance of commitment in relationships and how it can help to create a lasting relationship. Finally, the book discusses the importance of compromise in relationships and how it can help to create a healthy and happy relationship.

    Overall, The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship is an insightful and informative book that explores the secrets of happy couples and how to create a new normal in your relationship. The book is based on a survey of over 100,000 people in relationships from around the world and provides advice from experts on how to create a healthy and happy relationship. The book is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to create a new normal in their relationship.


Main ideas:


  • #1.     Communication is key: Couples who communicate openly and honestly with each other are more likely to have a successful relationship. This includes discussing difficult topics, such as finances, sex, and family dynamics.

    Communication is key when it comes to having a successful relationship. Couples should be open and honest with each other, even when discussing difficult topics. This means talking about finances, sex, and family dynamics. It is important to be able to express your feelings and opinions without fear of judgement or criticism. This will help to create a strong bond between the two of you and will make it easier to work through any issues that may arise. Additionally, it is important to listen to your partner and try to understand their perspective. This will help to ensure that both of you are on the same page and can work together to resolve any conflicts. By communicating openly and honestly, couples can create a strong foundation for their relationship and ensure that it is built to last.

  • #2.     Spend quality time together: Couples who make time for each other, even if it’s just a few minutes a day, are more likely to have a strong bond. This could include activities such as going for a walk, cooking dinner together, or simply talking.

    Spending quality time together is essential for any couple who wants to maintain a strong bond. This could include activities such as going for a walk, cooking dinner together, or simply talking. Taking the time to do something together, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, can help couples stay connected and build a strong relationship. It’s important to make sure that the time spent together is meaningful and enjoyable, so that both partners can benefit from it. This could mean going out for a special dinner, taking a weekend trip, or simply having a conversation about something that matters to both of you. Quality time together can help couples stay connected and build a strong relationship, and it’s an important part of any healthy relationship.

  • #3.     Show appreciation: Couples who express gratitude for each other’s efforts and accomplishments are more likely to have a healthy relationship. This could include verbal compliments, small gifts, or simply taking the time to listen.

    Showing appreciation in a relationship is an important part of keeping it healthy. It can be as simple as taking the time to listen to your partner, or as meaningful as giving them a small gift or compliment. Verbal compliments are a great way to show your partner that you appreciate them and their efforts. Small gifts can also be a great way to show your appreciation, as it shows that you are thinking of them and that you care. Taking the time to listen to your partner is also a great way to show your appreciation, as it shows that you are taking the time to understand them and their feelings. All of these small gestures can go a long way in showing your partner that you care and appreciate them.

    Expressing gratitude for each other’s efforts and accomplishments is a key part of a healthy relationship. It can be as simple as saying “thank you” or as meaningful as taking the time to recognize their hard work. Showing appreciation for your partner can help to strengthen your bond and create a deeper connection. It can also help to build trust and respect in the relationship, as it shows that you are taking the time to recognize their efforts and accomplishments.

    Overall, showing appreciation in a relationship is an important part of keeping it healthy. It can be as simple as taking the time to listen to your partner, or as meaningful as giving them a small gift or compliment. Taking the time to recognize your partner’s efforts and accomplishments can help to strengthen your bond and create a deeper connection. Expressing gratitude for each other’s efforts and accomplishments is a key part of a healthy relationship, and can help to build trust and respect in the relationship.

  • #4.     Respect each other: Couples who respect each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries are more likely to have a successful relationship. This includes respecting each other’s privacy, not taking each other for granted, and not trying to control each other.

    Respecting each other is essential for a successful relationship. This means listening to each others opinions, being mindful of each others feelings, and respecting each others boundaries. Couples should not take each other for granted, and should not try to control each other. Privacy should also be respected, and couples should be open and honest with each other. When couples respect each other, they are more likely to have a strong and healthy relationship.

    Respect is a two-way street, and both partners should be willing to give and receive respect. This means being understanding and supportive of each other, and being willing to compromise when necessary. Respect also means being honest and open with each other, and being willing to accept each others differences. When couples respect each other, they are more likely to have a successful and fulfilling relationship.

  • #5.     Have realistic expectations: Couples who have realistic expectations of each other and their relationship are more likely to have a successful relationship. This includes understanding that relationships take work and that no one is perfect.

    Having realistic expectations of each other and your relationship is essential for a successful relationship. It is important to understand that relationships take work and that no one is perfect. It is important to be honest with each other and to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and expectations. It is also important to be patient and understanding with each other and to be willing to compromise when necessary. It is also important to be supportive of each other and to be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. Finally, it is important to remember that relationships are not static and that they will evolve over time.

    It is important to remember that relationships are not always easy and that there will be times when things don’t go as planned. It is important to be able to recognize when things are not working and to be willing to make changes if necessary. It is also important to be able to forgive each other and to move on from mistakes. It is also important to be able to recognize when it is time to take a break and to be willing to do so if necessary.

    Having realistic expectations of each other and your relationship is essential for a successful relationship. It is important to remember that relationships take work and that no one is perfect. It is important to be honest with each other, to communicate openly and honestly, to be patient and understanding, to be supportive, and to be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. It is also important to be able to recognize when things are not working and to be willing to make changes if necessary. Finally, it is important to remember that relationships are not static and that they will evolve over time.

  • #6.     Make time for yourself: Couples who make time for themselves, such as pursuing hobbies or interests, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include taking a class, going to the gym, or simply taking a break from each other.

    Making time for yourself is essential for a successful relationship. It allows couples to take a break from each other and pursue their own interests. This could include taking a class, going to the gym, or simply taking a break from each other. It is important to remember that taking time for yourself does not mean that you are neglecting your relationship. Instead, it is a way to ensure that both partners are able to maintain their own identities and interests. Taking time for yourself can also help to reduce stress and improve communication between partners. When couples make time for themselves, they are more likely to be able to come back to their relationship with a fresh perspective and renewed energy.

    Making time for yourself can also help to strengthen the bond between partners. When couples take time to pursue their own interests, they are more likely to have something to talk about and share with each other. This can help to create a deeper connection between partners and can help to keep the relationship interesting. Additionally, taking time for yourself can help to reduce the amount of stress in the relationship, as it allows both partners to take a break from the pressures of everyday life.

    Making time for yourself is an important part of any successful relationship. It allows couples to take a break from each other and pursue their own interests. This can help to reduce stress, improve communication, and strengthen the bond between partners. Taking time for yourself can help to create a healthier and more fulfilling relationship for both partners.

  • #7.     Be honest: Couples who are honest with each other, even when it’s difficult, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This includes being honest about feelings, thoughts, and expectations.

    Honesty is essential for any successful relationship. When couples are honest with each other, they can build trust and understanding. This means being open and honest about feelings, thoughts, and expectations. It can be difficult to be honest, especially when it comes to difficult topics, but it is essential for a healthy relationship. Honesty can help couples work through issues and create a stronger bond. It can also help them to better understand each other and create a more fulfilling relationship.

    Honesty is also important for communication. When couples are honest with each other, they can communicate more effectively. This means being open and honest about feelings, thoughts, and expectations. It can be difficult to be honest, especially when it comes to difficult topics, but it is essential for a healthy relationship. Honesty can help couples work through issues and create a stronger bond. It can also help them to better understand each other and create a more fulfilling relationship.

    Honesty is also important for resolving conflicts. When couples are honest with each other, they can work through disagreements more effectively. This means being open and honest about feelings, thoughts, and expectations. It can be difficult to be honest, especially when it comes to difficult topics, but it is essential for a healthy relationship. Honesty can help couples work through issues and create a stronger bond. It can also help them to better understand each other and create a more fulfilling relationship.

    Overall, honesty is essential for any successful relationship. When couples are honest with each other, they can build trust and understanding. This means being open and honest about feelings, thoughts, and expectations. It can be difficult to be honest, especially when it comes to difficult topics, but it is essential for a healthy relationship. Honesty can help couples work through issues and create a stronger bond. It can also help them to better understand each other and create a more fulfilling relationship.

  • #8.     Have fun: Couples who make time for fun activities, such as going to the movies or playing a game, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include activities that both partners enjoy or activities that one partner enjoys and the other tolerates.

    Having fun together is an important part of any relationship. It helps to create a bond between partners and can be a great way to relieve stress and tension. Couples who make time for fun activities, such as going to the movies or playing a game, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include activities that both partners enjoy or activities that one partner enjoys and the other tolerates. It is important to make sure that both partners are comfortable with the activities that are chosen and that they are both having a good time.

    Making time for fun activities can also help to strengthen the relationship by providing an opportunity for partners to get to know each other better. It can be a great way to learn more about each other’s interests and to discover new things that you both enjoy. It can also be a great way to spend quality time together and to reconnect with each other.

    Having fun together is an important part of any relationship and can help to create a strong bond between partners. Couples who make time for fun activities are more likely to have a successful relationship. So, make sure to take some time out of your busy schedules to have some fun together!

  • #9.     Make compromises: Couples who are willing to compromise and make concessions are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include compromising on decisions, such as where to go on vacation, or compromising on values, such as how to raise children.

    Making compromises is an essential part of any successful relationship. It is important for couples to be willing to make concessions and come to an agreement that works for both of them. This could include compromising on decisions, such as where to go on vacation, or compromising on values, such as how to raise children. Compromising can help couples to avoid arguments and disagreements, and can help to create a more harmonious relationship. It is important to remember that compromise does not mean that one person always gets their way, but rather that both parties are willing to make concessions in order to reach a mutually beneficial outcome. Compromising can help couples to build trust and respect for each other, and can help to create a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

  • #10.     Resolve conflicts: Couples who are able to resolve conflicts in a healthy manner are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include discussing the issue calmly, listening to each other’s point of view, and finding a solution that works for both partners.

    Resolving conflicts in a healthy manner is essential for couples to have a successful relationship. It is important to discuss the issue calmly, without raising voices or getting angry. Both partners should be willing to listen to each other’s point of view and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Once both sides have been heard, it is important to work together to find a solution that works for both partners. This could involve compromising, finding a middle ground, or coming up with a creative solution that meets both partners’ needs. It is also important to remember that conflicts are normal and can be a sign of a healthy relationship. By resolving conflicts in a healthy manner, couples can strengthen their relationship and create a new normal in their relationship.

  • #11.     Be supportive: Couples who are supportive of each other, such as offering emotional support or helping out with tasks, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include offering words of encouragement, helping out with chores, or simply being there for each other.

    Couples who are supportive of each other are more likely to have a successful relationship. This support can come in many forms, from offering words of encouragement to helping out with chores. It is important for couples to be there for each other, both emotionally and physically, in order to build a strong and lasting relationship. Being supportive of each other can help to create a sense of security and trust, which is essential for any relationship to thrive. Additionally, it can help to foster a sense of understanding and appreciation for each other, which can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

    Supportive relationships can also help to reduce stress and anxiety, as couples are able to rely on each other for emotional and practical support. This can help to create a more positive and healthy environment for both partners. Furthermore, being supportive of each other can help to create a sense of unity and connection, which can be beneficial for both partners. Ultimately, being supportive of each other is an important part of any successful relationship, and can help to create a strong and lasting bond between partners.

  • #12.     Express affection: Couples who express affection for each other, such as through physical touch or verbal compliments, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include holding hands, giving hugs, or simply telling each other “I love you.”

    Expressing affection is an important part of any relationship. It helps to build trust and connection between partners, and can be a powerful way to show your love and appreciation for one another. Physical touch, such as holding hands, giving hugs, or cuddling, can be a great way to express affection. Verbal compliments and expressions of love, such as “I love you”, can also be powerful tools for expressing affection. When couples express affection for each other, it can help to strengthen their relationship and create a more positive and fulfilling bond.

    The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship by Chrisanna Northrup provides insight into the importance of expressing affection in relationships. The book discusses how couples who express affection for each other are more likely to have a successful relationship. It also provides tips and advice on how to express affection in a meaningful way, and how to create a new normal in your relationship.

  • #13.     Have shared interests: Couples who have shared interests, such as a hobby or a sport, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include activities that both partners enjoy or activities that one partner enjoys and the other tolerates.

    Having shared interests is an important part of any successful relationship. When couples share interests, it can help them to bond and create a stronger connection. It can also provide a way for them to spend quality time together, which is essential for any relationship. Shared interests can also help to keep the relationship fresh and exciting, as couples can explore new activities together.

    Shared interests dont have to be complicated or expensive. It could be something as simple as watching a movie together or going for a walk. It could also be something more involved, such as a hobby or a sport. Whatever it is, it should be something that both partners enjoy or at least tolerate. This way, both partners can get something out of the activity and it can help to strengthen their bond.

    Having shared interests is a great way to keep a relationship healthy and strong. It can provide a way for couples to connect and spend quality time together. It can also help to keep the relationship fresh and exciting, as couples can explore new activities together. So, if youre looking to create a strong and lasting relationship, make sure to find some shared interests that you both enjoy.

  • #14.     Be flexible: Couples who are flexible and willing to adjust to each other’s needs are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include being willing to change plans or adjust expectations.

    Being flexible in a relationship is essential for couples to have a successful and healthy relationship. It means being willing to compromise and adjust to each other’s needs. This could include changing plans or expectations when necessary. It also means being open to trying new things and being willing to listen to each other’s opinions. Being flexible also means being able to adapt to different situations and being able to communicate effectively. It is important to be able to talk about any issues that arise and to be able to come to a resolution that works for both partners. Being flexible also means being able to accept each other’s differences and to be able to compromise when needed. It is important to be able to talk through any disagreements and to be able to come to a resolution that works for both partners. Being flexible is essential for couples to have a successful and healthy relationship.

  • #15.     Manage stress: Couples who are able to manage stress, such as through exercise or relaxation techniques, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include taking a break from each other, going for a walk, or simply talking about the issue.

    Managing stress is an important part of any successful relationship. Couples who are able to recognize and address stressors in their relationship are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include taking a break from each other, going for a walk, or simply talking about the issue. Exercise and relaxation techniques can also be helpful in managing stress. Exercise can help to reduce stress hormones and can help to improve mood. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can help to reduce stress and anxiety. Additionally, couples can practice communication techniques such as active listening and expressing feelings in a healthy way. By managing stress, couples can create a healthier and more successful relationship.

  • #16.     Set boundaries: Couples who set boundaries, such as not discussing certain topics or not spending too much time together, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include setting limits on how much time is spent together or setting limits on how much time is spent on certain activities.

    Setting boundaries is an important part of any successful relationship. It helps couples to establish a sense of trust and respect for each other, as well as to create a healthy balance between their individual needs and wants. Boundaries can be set in a variety of ways, such as setting limits on how much time is spent together or setting limits on how much time is spent on certain activities. This can help couples to ensure that their relationship is not only healthy, but also that it is mutually beneficial.

    Boundaries can also help couples to communicate more effectively. By setting boundaries, couples can ensure that they are both on the same page when it comes to expectations and needs. This can help to reduce misunderstandings and arguments, as well as to create a more harmonious relationship. Additionally, setting boundaries can help couples to feel more secure in their relationship, as they know that their partner is respecting their wishes and needs.

    Ultimately, setting boundaries is an important part of any successful relationship. It can help couples to create a healthy balance between their individual needs and wants, as well as to communicate more effectively. By setting boundaries, couples can ensure that their relationship is not only healthy, but also that it is mutually beneficial.

  • #17.     Be open to change: Couples who are open to change, such as trying new activities or adjusting to new circumstances, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include trying a new restaurant or taking a class together.

    Being open to change is an important part of any successful relationship. Couples who are willing to try new things and adjust to new circumstances are more likely to have a strong and lasting bond. This could include trying a new restaurant, taking a class together, or even just trying something new in the bedroom. Its important to keep things fresh and exciting in a relationship, and being open to change is a great way to do that. It can also help to keep the relationship from becoming stagnant and boring.

    Its also important to be open to change in terms of communication. Couples should be willing to talk about their feelings and be open to hearing the other persons point of view. This can help to create a stronger bond and understanding between the two of you. Its also important to be open to compromise and to be willing to make adjustments in order to make the relationship work.

    Being open to change is an important part of any successful relationship. It can help to keep things fresh and exciting, and it can also help to create a stronger bond between the two of you. Its important to be willing to try new things and to be open to hearing the other persons point of view. By being open to change, couples can create a new normal in their relationship that will help them to stay together for the long haul.

  • #18.     Have trust: Couples who trust each other, such as by being honest and not snooping, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include trusting each other to be faithful or trusting each other to make the right decisions.

    Having trust in a relationship is essential for it to be successful. Trusting each other means being honest and not snooping, and it also means having faith in each others decisions. When couples trust each other, they can be sure that their relationship is built on a strong foundation. This trust can help them to feel secure and confident in their relationship, knowing that their partner has their best interests at heart.

    Trust also means being faithful to each other. This means that couples should be able to rely on each other to remain loyal and committed to the relationship. This can help to create a strong bond between the two of them, as they know that they can rely on each other to be there for them. This trust can help to create a strong sense of security and stability in the relationship.

    Having trust in a relationship is essential for it to be successful. It can help to create a strong bond between the two of them, as they know that they can rely on each other to be honest, faithful, and make the right decisions. This trust can help to create a strong sense of security and stability in the relationship, and can help couples to have a successful and happy relationship.

  • #19.     Show affection: Couples who show affection for each other, such as through physical touch or verbal compliments, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include holding hands, giving hugs, or simply telling each other “I love you.”

    Showing affection is an important part of any relationship. It helps to build trust and connection between partners, and can be a powerful way to express love and appreciation. Physical touch, such as holding hands, giving hugs, or cuddling, can be a great way to show affection. Verbal compliments and expressions of love can also be powerful, and can help to strengthen the bond between partners. Showing affection can also help to reduce stress and anxiety, and can help to create a sense of security and comfort in a relationship.

    It is important to remember that showing affection does not always have to be grand gestures. Small, everyday acts of kindness and appreciation can be just as meaningful. Taking the time to listen to your partner, or doing something special for them, can be a great way to show affection. Ultimately, it is important to find what works for you and your partner, and to make sure that you are both comfortable with the level of affection that you are showing.

  • #20.     Make time for friends and family: Couples who make time for friends and family, such as by attending social events or visiting family members, are more likely to have a successful relationship. This could include attending a party together or visiting a relative.

    Making time for friends and family is an important part of any successful relationship. Couples who make time for social events and visits with family members are more likely to have a strong bond and a healthy relationship. This could include attending a party together, visiting a relative, or simply taking a walk together in the park. Spending quality time with friends and family can help couples to strengthen their bond and create a sense of shared purpose and understanding. It can also provide an opportunity to learn more about each other and to appreciate each other’s unique perspectives. Additionally, spending time with friends and family can help to reduce stress and provide a sense of support and comfort.

    Making time for friends and family is an important part of any successful relationship. It can help to create a sense of shared purpose and understanding, and it can provide an opportunity to learn more about each other and to appreciate each other’s unique perspectives. Additionally, spending time with friends and family can help to reduce stress and provide a sense of support and comfort. Couples who make time for social events and visits with family members are more likely to have a strong bond and a healthy relationship.